Unleashing Your Magic

Leadership is a skill in connecting, blending and producing shared actions, commitments and moods and these are skills in conversation.

In our interpretation of leadership, we see that leadership arises in conversations. We will use the word “conversation” to mean the interaction of human beings which create action, meaning, listening, moods and emotions and the future. Conversations are not just words but the whole body reactions that are provoked when we interact in language and when we interact the language is provoked. Conversations include language, moods and emotions, body reactions and experiences, and the listening that is based on the history of the people in the conversation; they are shaped in linguistic and cultural practices.

Yet if we observe conversations, we will always see moods, emotions and body reaction. Conversation means the interaction of human beings which create action, meaning, listening moods and emotions which create the future conversations as not just words.

As Bob Dunham says “leaders declare futures that other people commit to through conversations”. Those conversation create action and skill that requires producing certain reaction in others.

What do your conversations say. Are you creating a future that others want to live into?

It is very exciting to know that we have a choice in our lives.  Resignation is a a choice as well.  When the going gets tough do we develop new strategies or do we do the same old things.  It is up to us really.

I have chosen to learn new strategies and create new choices.  There was a saying I use to believe in which was to fight back.  I don’t want to fight I want to blend. I want to be aware of my strengths and create a strategy.

My awareness has brought me to the place of the importance of choice.  Life goes on whether I choose or not but in choice I am not a victim but creator.

I choose to learn new ways, be a beginner and practice.  My profession is an executive coach, my passion is to make a difference so others have choice and my love is people.

Last week we had a flood in our home.  It was a disaster with many workman invading the house trying to find the problem.  I felt out of control and saw that I was in overwhelm. I observed myself loosing things, getting scattered and nervous and feeling helpless.

I got excited that I was able to identify that I was in overwhelm and I could take charge of me.  I may not be able to do anything about the mess in my house or the problem, that was the job of my  my wonderful contractors.  I could however get a hold of my mood of overwhelm and turn it around into a mood of peace and ambition.  When I say ambition I mean a mood of possibility and belief that everything will be okay.

Breathe Breathe Breathe.  I took a walk, centered myself walked back in the house and my mood of serenity empowered the contractors to find the problem and really take care of me and my home.  I walked the Talk and got the results I wanted.

I became of aware of what I wanted to produce out of this chaos.  I got focused and present and the little voice in my head said reaction is the enemy, pause, re-center so I could   produce the result I care about.

I changed my invisible conversation which changed the future.  We can only change our future but what we do in the present.

Benji is my dog who has a knee problem.  He is so small that I can’t even find his knee.

It pains me to see my little Benji is so much pain and I had to leave him with someone because of other commitments. She is a vet’s assistant so I know she will do a good job but still he is not with me.. The xray’s show nothing and still he is limping.  He is only 9 lbs (a little overweight) and he is on pain medication.  His care taker reported all he wants to do is be held.

I would love to know someone who isn’t extreme about health care for dogs to help me find a way for Benji to be better without an operation or pain killers.  Between the pain killers and his allergies in Florida I feel is is on too many drugs.

Benji is an apricot toy poodle and if anyone is reading this and has ideas please respond.  I live in Florida and Chicago and I love Benji so much.

My computer is in the shop and I am working in different cities for the next few days.  I said to my my friend Helen that I didn’t think I could continue the #30 contest because I would not have access to a computer.  In her nicest of voices she said you can do it.  What I realized from her tone and words that when someone is a stand for you it empowers you to soar.  Thank you again Helen.

I am in Boulder colorado looking at the beautiful mountains and working with people I love.  I am so thankful for my life and for all that has been presented to me.  I realize that if I didn’t have the transformational, spiritual and psychological training that life would have looked so different then it does now.

I am a coach in every way.  My being is to listen for the possibilities even if it is to keep my word on blogging.  It feels good to know what my word means and that I can count on myself which of course has other people confident that they can count on me.

“Boundaries emerge from deep within, deep inside of us. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries.”
~Melody Beattie

I never thought that boundaries came from believing we deserved. Shame and guilt was just too much to even look at.  However, when I began to work on boundaries I saw how important they were. I saw that when you allow people to go past what you feel is appropriate it takes a little out of you.  I use the word allowed because when you have boundaries people feel them..  It is your being, groundless, self-confidence that allows your boundaries to be revealed.

When I started looking at what are the barriers of projecting a confident centered presence, I saw that boundaries were very important.  I have been asked what boundaries had to do with  Invisible  conversations, what your thinking that you’re not saying.  It is when we think we don’t deserve and think we are not good enough or feel guilt or shame is when we let people go further then we feel is appropriate.

Love yourself and if you don’t work it out.  Work it out with a therapist; coach your clergy, training’s, or all of the above.

Loving yourself is the key.  Creating boundaries creates a stand of who you are in the world. It is not the words you speak it is your Invisible conversation.

Father’s Day definitely brings me to a place of  yesterday.  My Dad died a long time ago.  He made a big impact on me and my son.  He was a big man in stature, very handsome and yearned for a better life. He did as well as he could with what he was given.

Bernie was his name and that’s was the name my son called him..  It was Bernie and Steve and everyone knew the love they had for each other.  He kept a picture of Steve in his car, called  every day and saw his grandson at least once a week.  They unconditionally loved each other.

Daddy died when Steve was a freshman in college. To this day when he sees a yellow light he sends a kiss to Bernie.

My dad’s presence had me feel safe and secure.  His hands were a big as my face and his heart was as big as the world. He loved giving advice and even though I didn’t like hearing it, I miss it now. He called all the time and he drove me crazy, but I miss it now.  I miss his smile, knowing I can call him any time, His support and most of all his love.

Happy Fathers Day, Dad

Can men and women be platonic friends?

I was out for dinner with my recently divorced friend.  Since her divorce she is happier and less lonely.  She was married to a very critical man and getting away from that kind of criticism has freed her.

She expressed that she went out on a date and they discussed the idea of men and women being friends.  He said absolutely not and she said absolutely yes. They had two completely different ideas on the same subject.  Her thought was how horrible it would be if half the population would not be available as a friend.

I don’t know the answer to that question.  I know I would not like if my husband had a close woman friend that he had frequent dinners with However both of us do have opposite sex friends.  My good male friends come from my life before marriage and I guess that would be acceptable.  Actually, as I look at this question it would depend on the circumstances, the basis of the friendship and how comfortable I was.

The other question is could two single people of the opposite sex be friends. Harry Met Sally said no.  I guess like everything else it depends on the people, circumstances and belief system. It is another example of different strokes for different folks.